Do ya wanna know what's completely crazy to me? That God just looks down from Heaven at me, and He wants to give me this heart for Haiti, ME?! I am so unworthy, and yet he is SO compassionate and perfect EVERY SINGLE DAY. It's so crazy to me, because I feel like I literally screw up every single day, but He sees me through beautiful rose colored glasses. He sees me as valuable enough to send me places I never thought were possible for just one woman, but here I am, getting ready to go on the trip of a lifetime, because of HIM.
Jesus, he's a rockstar, and sometimes he just keeps me up all night long with crazy emotions for Him, but also for the opportunities He has set in front of me. Things that I honestly never imagined... the coolest thing about it is, He loves me SO much, that He handpicked me... and I just still don't really fathom that. But these are the love songs I can totally jam to. It's so weird that looking at this trip, my biggest fear is not wanting to come back. Yep, you read that correctly, I am so afraid of just wanting to stay with the beautiful souls I will meet in Haiti. I hear it all the time, too. One of my good friends, Rayla, she talks about how she can't wait to move to Nicaragua (where her heart is) and how she cannot wait to get back to those people. I truly believe that sometimes, we just aren't meant to stay in the place we were raised, especially when our hearts are pulling us across the world.
Jesus and I have a funny thing going on, He's healing me by sending me places. I wonder if Haiti even realizes that I need them WAY more than they will ever need me. It's a wonderful thing to realize that. He has been working on my heart, a little bit at a time, and my heart has not felt as complete as it does at this very moment in a crazy long time. He is restoring me in ways that I never thought possible... and yet for so long I ran. I ran in every direction other than to God.
Well, God, get ready to put up with some more 3 AM jams, rambling conversations, and SO much more. There is no greater and more perfect love than what He gives me.
No comments:
Post a Comment