Now, I am not here to say that if those are the things you are interested in having that you are wrong, but I am going to say that if you are NOT interested in having an uncommitted relationship, you definitely have to change the way you're speaking to people and communicating your needs. I think that everyone has a right to have different opinions, needs, wants, etc. in their relationships for sure.
First off, those who do want that committed partnership for the long-term, you have to get right with God! It was a lot of heartbreak, frustrations, and pain until I met the man I am currently with... and the majority of that came because I refused to listen to God, and what He wanted from me. Now, that is not to say that my relationship with Thomas is perfect, nor do I know if it'll last forever (we are kinda new into this whole thing) but it is to say that I know without a shadow of a doubt that he loves the Lord, he loves me, and he is the person I trust wholeheartedly with everything. (ALSO -- Please note, Tom is NOT perfect but he is intentional... and a great match FOR ME... EVERYONE needs someone who can meet THEIR OWN relationship needs)
My relationship with God really came into fruition when I made the decision to leave Mississippi and move to Nashville. I spent a lot of time alone, and there were definitely those lonely nights when I wished I had never left Mississippi... but I leaned on the Lord, and prayed a whole bunch... and cried some too. I began to spend a lot more time in the church, found ministries that catered to my personal needs, and continued to meet women that blessed me and became my support system through this time (RAYLA THATS YOU!).
Proverbs 17:17 "A friend loves at all times"
Secondly, I had to get right with MYSELF. I had to really relearn how to love myself through this walk with God. I had to really make the effort to spend some time loving myself, enjoying life alone, and pursuing my various passions. I truly believe that regardless of where you are in life, whether it be single, married, parenthood, etc. you must find time to be alone and nourish your spirit. There were many nights when I sat in bed with a book, watched netflix alone, or even spent the afternoon sprawled out in my living room with my family. Those times made me love myself and value myself so much more. I had to come to the terms that I deserve to be valued, I deserve to be loved, and most importantly I deserve to feel the freedom to be myself in every aspect of my life.
AND FINALLY, WHAT YOU'VE ALL BEEN WAITING FOR... THE MUSHY GOOSHY RELATIONSHIP STUFF!!!!
So, once the first two steps were coming together in harmony for a good bit of time, I met Tom. It was sort of by chance and I almost didn't even go on our first date (YEP!!!). But then I went to our first date and then we sat for hours, and then we talked for hours... and the rest is sort of history! But here's the deal, here is what REALLY sold me on Tom, he was INTENTIONAL. Every single date we have been on (TO THIS VERY DAY) he has planned a place, a time, and what we are doing. He has always made it a point to call whatever it is that we were doing a DATE and ALWAYS made me feel valued. Secondly, he was straightforward. It didn't take but a few dates for him to make sure that we were exclusive. He was a MAN about it and made sure that he stated his desires from the get go!
Although the intent was clear on his end of things, he also made sure to go above and beyond to always make me feel special and valued. From picking me up for all of our dates, opening doors for me wherever we go, to sending me gorgeous bouquets of flowers... I have never ceased to feel valued and loved when it comes to him.
Now here's the biggest aspect of our relationship... Not only is he intentional, we value the Lord in our relationship. We attend mass on Sunday mornings together and are always praying for one another. Tom in every aspect is a good man, but the most important aspect to us, is that he is a man of God. He is a prayerful and hardworking man. We spend ample time together, but also spend time apart.
All in all, I write this to say -- pray for the fairytale because it does exist. And be patient! I spent so many long nights praying for a man who loved me the way Christ loved the church. And God provided, but I had to be right with God first and also right with myself. Delight in the Lord! It's the most fulfilling way to live your life.
Tom and I at the Italian Lights festival in Nashville, TN
"Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart." Psalm 37:4
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